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Showing posts with label weirdness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weirdness. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 31, 2018
Friday, August 18, 2017
Mercury in Retrograde Strikes Again
Mercury is in retrograde between August 12 and September 5.
two retro cars (old MGAs)
If you've followed this blog or its predecessor for long, you've probably noticed that
Mercury has it in for me.
So far, this is how Mercury has tripped me up:
1. Mattress Snafu
We ordered a new mattress and box spring set (before August 12). We did NOT order a metal bed frame because the one we had was fine. The comfy new mattress arrived on August 15. With a new frame.
"We didn't order a frame," we told the delivery men.
"It's here, so we're setting it up," they replied. They dismantled the old frame, set up the new one, plunked the mattress on top, and started to leave.
"Take away the old frame," we said.
"No, we can't do that."
So M and I schlepped the heavy, unwieldy thing to the recycling room on the main floor of the condo.
"You've just done your aerobic exercise for the day," M told me.
Five minutes after we got back to our suite, we got a phone call from the delivery men. "We're coming back to pick up the new frame you didn't order or pay for."
They took away the new frame and plopped the mattress and box spring set directly on the floor.
The next day we returned to the mattress store and told them what happened and asked whether the warranty was voided by not having a frame. "No, you're fine with the mattress set directly on the floor."
Miscommunication at its finest.
2. False fire alarm
Last night the fire alarm went off.
At 1:45 am.
Panic ensued for 15 minutes until we heard the announcement that it was a false alarm.
My first thought was about getting both of us dressed and out of the building. At least *sigh* we didn't have to carry a 25-pound dog down the stairs, too... :-(
My next thought was: SAVE THE MANUSCRIPT! (my work-in-progress).
As a result of last night's escapade, I've decided to keep the flash drive containing my WIP in my purse at all times when I'm not actually using it.
3. Other minor things
including no sound on my husband's computer and other problems with his new cell phone.Thursday, June 16, 2016
An Overdue Anecdote
Sometimes something happens that is so priceless, so unique, that it begs to be told publicly. Because the two main people involved are no longer alive, I can finally tell this story.
During my Grade 11 English class, we read from Arthur Miller's play, The Crucible, about the Salem witch hunt (and an allegory for the 1947 Hollywood Communist blacklist witch hunt).
Various characters were (falsely) claiming that they saw other characters with the Devil. "Goody" was a term that meant "Miss" or "Missus."
Going down the class rows, each of us read one line from the play. It sounded something like this.
My friend was next. But instead of the written line, she read:
During my Grade 11 English class, we read from Arthur Miller's play, The Crucible, about the Salem witch hunt (and an allegory for the 1947 Hollywood Communist blacklist witch hunt).
Various characters were (falsely) claiming that they saw other characters with the Devil. "Goody" was a term that meant "Miss" or "Missus."
Going down the class rows, each of us read one line from the play. It sounded something like this.
I saw Goody Good with the Devil!
I saw Goody Osburn with the Devil!
My friend was next. But instead of the written line, she read:
I saw Gordie Howe with the Devil!
Saturday, November 23, 2013
The Book Launch
Me: I want to have a book launch party.
Husband: Okay. We'll take the ferry to the Island, put your book on a raft, and launch it there!
Husband: Okay. We'll take the ferry to the Island, put your book on a raft, and launch it there!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Blow winds, crack your cheeks!
What once looked like this:
http://www.relaxusonline.com/Schnozzzz_Shakespeare_Tissue_Boxes_p/l8456.htm
now looks like this:
Blow winds, and crack your cheeks!
King Lear, Act III, Scene 2
Why, yes, I do have a tissue box shaped like Shakespeare. Doesn't everyone?
Alas, I knew him well, but my Shakespeare "The Schnozzzz" (tm) was hoist by his own petard.
now looks like this:
Blow winds, and crack your cheeks!
King Lear, Act III, Scene 2
Why, yes, I do have a tissue box shaped like Shakespeare. Doesn't everyone?
Alas, I knew him well, but my Shakespeare "The Schnozzzz" (tm) was hoist by his own petard.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Dear Fax Sender
FAX COVER SHEET
To: The person or automated machine who keeps faxing my home telephone
From: A tired writer
You are trying to send a fax to a private telephone number.
While your fax has a lovely screeching sound, rather like a screech owl, I would prefer not to have my sleep interrupted by it.
Once may have been a quirky mistake.
Twice was annoying.
After the fifth misdirected fax at 1:30 am, I am beginning to become a bit grouchy.
I leave you with this haiku.
a fax gone astray
useless midnight screech in ear --
please stop faxing me
To: The person or automated machine who keeps faxing my home telephone
From: A tired writer
You are trying to send a fax to a private telephone number.
While your fax has a lovely screeching sound, rather like a screech owl, I would prefer not to have my sleep interrupted by it.
Once may have been a quirky mistake.
Twice was annoying.
After the fifth misdirected fax at 1:30 am, I am beginning to become a bit grouchy.
I leave you with this haiku.
a fax gone astray
useless midnight screech in ear --
please stop faxing me
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