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Saturday, November 10, 2012

Seasonal Excuses

Seasonal Excuses

by Barbara Etlin


I can't submit my short story in July.
Vacation season starts now.

I can't submit my short story in August.
August is the slowest month of the year. No one is in the office.

I can't submit my short story in September.
The kids are starting back to school and chaos will ensue.

I can't submit my short story in October.
I need the entire month to prepare Halloween costumes.

I can't submit my short story in November.
I'll be busy doing NaNoWriMo instead of submitting.

I can't submit my short story in December.
Everyone knows no one in publishing does any work between mid-November and New Year's Day. They're partying or hung over, if they're in the office at all.

I can submit my short story in January.
The editors will be back from their six-week-long vacation and will be rested. However, my manuscript will be lost in the huge slush pile that collects between mid-November and January.

I can't submit my short story in February.
Winter is too depressing. I'm going to hibernate.

I can't submit my short story in March.
The kids will be on March break and chaos will ensue.

I can't submit my short story in April.
April is the cruelest month. (Don't ask me why. Ask T.S. Elliot.)

I can submit my short story in May and June,
so I'd better hurry and write something.



Copyright 2012, Barbara Etlin , all rights reserved






10 comments:

  1. Hoot, hoot!
    And I finally submitted my short stories last night, minutes before the deadline. I ran out of excuses.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yah, Angela! Was this to the Writer's Digest contest?

      Delete
  2. So funny! I tie myself up in knots like this all the time.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hah! You have a portal to many minds...
    Actually, personally I have not gravitated this way. I never understood the "don't submit during the__." (Fill in the blank.) When subs are read (if they are) and get responses (if they do) so long after they are sent, what do the holidays/summer/full moon or whatever have to do with anything?
    Now off the duff, and onwards.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly!

      Oh, I forgot my favourite one: Mercury's in retrograde, so they'll misplace it, it will get lost in the mail, or the email will eat it. (This one, sadly, has some truth...)

      Delete
  4. Oh my! I guess it's true, we can find an excuse for anything if we try hard enough.

    ReplyDelete

Give a hoot.